Tag Archives: challenge

Nudging: Say “yes” to something new

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Backstory: When I was putting together The List, I almost pulled this nudge off. It feels kinda vague. But on final review, I kept it because it forces me to be in the moment, to be open to whatever may come.

Will I be invited to a social event that feels outside my comfort (or fashion) zone? Will I see an opening in a class that’s just a little outside my (financial or intellectual) reach? Will I get an opportunity to experiment on something that’s always looked like fun but had me doubting my ability to even try?

We’ll find out! 🙂

Have fun with this! If you need inspiration, check out Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person.

Nudging: Do something that scares me

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Backstory: I love this nudge. It can present in so many ways.

Maybe this is the week I wrap up something I really need to do, but dread doing (updating our estate planning paperwork, or catch up on my accounting and seeing just how much I have/don’t have in savings). Maybe this is the week I take a BIG but exciting RISK (ask for a raise, or call a company I would love to work with and ask if they’re hiring). Or maybe I get creative and literal and watch a super-scary classic movie (Exorcist, The Shining)…in the dark! 😉

I hope you’ll share with me what you end up doing with this nudge.

P.S. This week we’re celebrating Thanksgiving in the U.S. I want to take this opportunity to thank YOU for supporting me and my 52Nudges journey. Wishing you a safe and happy holiday!

 

 

Nudged: Learn how to sign a fun phrase in American Sign Language

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Backstory: The seed for learning American Sign Language (ASL) was first planted with earlier nudges, learning fun phrases in French (“What do you want for dinner?”) and Italian (“I would like a glass of prosecco, please.”). Those nudges were both really fun, and they challenged my brain in new ways.

This nudge goes a bit deeper. It was also inspired by a barista in a coffee house and a Lyft driver I met on separate occasions last year, both of whom were hearing impaired. I was struck by the realization of the effort I make to be polite and respectful when I visit foreign countries, but here, with my own people, I’ve only managed “Hello” and “Thank you.”

I’d like to do better.

What Happened: My initial Google search presented me with a wealth of learning tools. I started with a four-minute video created by Signed With Heart, “25 Basic ASL Signs for Beginners”.

  • Yes
  • No
  • Please
  • Nice to meet you

Mastering these was enough to ignite my curiosity and send me down the rabbit hole of online research. From Wikipedia, I learned ASP was created in the early 1800s at the American School for the Deaf in Connecticut, but has origins in French sign language. I discovered British sign language is not directly translatable to the American version, and there are even dialects. And did you know many American colleges now accept ASL study for foreign language credits? Cool!

With renewed motivation, I moved to a fingerspelling chart and worked on learning the alphabet.

© William Vicars, sign language resources at Lifeprint.com.

Then I put everything together and practiced.

Hello

My name is

K-A-T-H-L-E-E-N

I squealed with delight the first time I signed it fluidly.

Oh, and P.S.:

“I love you.”

 

Ah-Hahs: Maybe I’ll learn sign language and become a teacher—or one of those cool signers at live concerts! I entertained that dream for just a few minutes, because when I looked closer, I had to acknowledge: ASL is hard! It’s complex, there are lots of variations, and the grammar rules differ from written and spoken English.

I ran this by Thor, my darling husband, after I demonstrated my new skills, and his immediate response was, “No, you need to get back to learning French.” He’s right. That’s where I had an affinity and where I have a passion. As much as I enjoyed this small experiment with ASL, I truly love learning French. So I made a note in my journal to explore my options for future French lessons.

But I’m glad I took time to learn some of the basics, and I hope I’ll have an opportunity to use them.

Meanwhile, there was one more gift that came out of this nudge. For some reason, I read the quotes under the video. I almost never read comments, because so many we see today are ugly, hateful, unnecessary. The ones I read on Signed With Heart’s forum, from people sharing why they want to learn ASL, are lovely. “There’s a new girl in our school…I have a crush on a boy who is deaf…I want to communicate with my newly adopted brother….” I was a puddle reading all the heartwarming messages.

So in addition to gaining a couple of small skills, I gained a renewed hope in humankindness.

If this has inspired you to learn more ASL, there is a wealth of resources available on Amazon. I found books, flashcards, games, and DVDs, and most are quite reasonably priced. Here are a few you might find helpful:

Sign Language Conversations for Beginning Signers by Stan Collins (paperback)

Barron’s 500 Flash Cards of American Sign Language by Geoffrey S. Poor

American Sign Language Made Easy (Amazon Prime video)

Nudging: Investigate free programs, put 1 on the calendar

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Backstory: This nudge is designed to physically get me out of my comfort zone by exploring new places and trying new things. The “free” part may be the big challenge, and I’m going to need to be a bit creative. Street fairs, talks, programs at the library…? I’m feeling curious, and it feels good.

Nudged: No Facebook or online news for 1 week

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Backstory: I signed up to work with a nutritionist last year, to fine-tune what foods (vs. fads) work best for my system for losing weight and maintaining good health. I figured I’d be told to count calories, make adjustments to intake of carbs/fats/proteins, and amp up and create more variety in my exercise routines. So I was surprised to see “limit social media” on her list of recommendations. “It’s a source of stress,” she explained (Duh, I thought at the time), “and that contributes to how our bodies function,” including how we process calories and hang on to excess weight.

I’ve since talked with a number of friends who have received similar advice when seeking to develop healthier lifestyles, including one friend who was assigned “zero social media” for a three-month period while working through some challenges with a therapist.

There’s something to this, so I thought I’d try it out.

What Happened: One of the key guidelines for the nudges I give myself is each has to be, in some way, “uncomfortable”. On a scale of one to 10, this felt like a nine.

I drew this just before noon on Sunday, and my first thought was “I have a few minutes to check everything before this starts!”

How sick is that? I resisted the urge, taped the strip of paper with the nudge on top of my week’s calendar, and went about my day.

Monday 6 am I faced a rude awakening. I realized I have an almost unconscious routine when I first hit my desk in the mornings: Dear Abby, People online, local news, international news, Facebook. I resisted the urge and went to work, and all was fine till I was working on a project for a client and discovered a link about something they’re doing that I wanted to share on my FB business page. “This is work,” I told myself, “it doesn’t count.” And “I’ll just schedule it to run later, but I won’t look at anything else.” Riiight.

I scribbled a note in my calendar for this coming Monday to circle back to it. Would it have been easier and more time-efficient to just get it done? Probably. But that’s not what this week’s nudge is about.

Thor (the code name for my darling husband) emailed me in the afternoon: “Check out this story in the Chronicle!” Maybe if I just read that one story…. But I knew it would lead down the rabbit hole to other links, so I explained why I couldn’t and asked him to give me the highlights over dinner, which he did.

Tuesday was easier. I didn’t feel compelled to launch into my morning routine of checking all my sources.

By end of week, it was no big deal. I noticed that I did feel calmer, even more focused. Huh.

However….

Ah-Hahs: If I’m being completely honest (and I am), I must admit that I filled some of that “free” time with (cringe) online Solitaire. WTH?! This is not something I do. This is not ME. But there you have it. I am not proud of myself.

I took a hard look at “Why do I feel the need to numb myself? What am I avoiding?”

Late Thursday night I spent some time journaling about these questions. Here’s a short list of what came up for me:

  • Facing the losses that have appeared recently in my professional life, resulting in open spaces I don’t know how I’m ever going to fill.
  • Fearing that I’m “done” being a contributing member of society.
  • Feeling I am a burden to my husband.
  • Dreading the overwhelm of BIG projects that seem “impossible” to complete.

I reached out to a wise friend, shared with her some of what was going on in my life, and she told me what I already knew: I need to grieve my losses.

So Friday morning I started my day with an intention to “sit” with my grief.

Only I didn’t. When presented with a chunk of free time between projects, I opened up the Solitaire site.

I can quit any time I want.

This, I acknowledge, is a problem. Maybe not life-threatening, but I know it’s not healthy.

I’m not sure what to do with all this yet, but I consider this nudge a “win” for forcing me to acknowledge this – and do something about it.

I need figure out how to be the queen of my own heart. (Fabulous deck of cards designed by Ambidextrous Studio at http://ambistudio.com/.)

P.S. Avoidance can present in many forms of addiction. If you are reading this and thinking about how you’ve been using an unhealthy substance to numb out, please consider this your nudge to ask for help. If a licensed therapist is beyond your means, contact a clergy person or trusted friend.

Nudging: No Facebook or online news for 1 week

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You know when you get so overloaded with things that you enter in the wrong date on something important? Yeah. So I just noticed this didn’t post as planned yesterday morning. In case you were wondering if I was a robot, or if this was a perfectly orchestrated project, now you know the truth. 🙂  Onward!

Backstory: I signed up to work with a nutritionist last year, to fine-tune what foods (vs. fads) work best for my system for losing weight and maintaining good health. I figured I’d be told to count calories, make adjustments to intake of carbs/fats/proteins, and amp up and create more variety in my exercise routines. So I was surprised to see “limit social media” on her list of recommendations. “It’s a source of stress,” she explained (Duh, I thought at the time), “and that contributes to how our bodies function,” including how we process calories and hang on to excess weight.

I’ve since talked with a number of friends who have received similar advice when seeking to develop healthier lifestyles, including one friend who was assigned “zero social media” for a three-month period while working through some challenges with a therapist.

There’s something to this, so I thought I’d try it out.

P.S. I recently was asked why I draw a new nudge every Sunday. “Why not just make yourself a big list and check things off?” Great question. The real answer is that the actual drawing of the nudge – the anticipation (“What will I be doing this week?”) and the delight (or groan) of the reveal of the week’s challenge – is fun. I get so few surprises at this point in life, and I love surprises. Plus, the ritual gives me a little burst of energy, which leads to a “Let’s do this!”

Nudged: Finalize The List 2.0

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Backstory: We’re almost there! For the past few weeks I’ve been doing exercises to come up with nudges. (Scroll back through those posts if you want to do them too.) I have a long list of challenges that encompasses Passion & Play, Creativity, Spiritual Growth, Work, Self-Care, Home Care, and miscellaneous fun stuff.

Now it’s time to cut it down.

This week I’m going to read through my list and consider if each proposed nudge fits the following criteria:

  • Is this something I can do in one week’s time?
  • Is it inexpensive?
  • Does it make me uncomfortable? (It should.)
  • Is it fun? (Most should have some element of fun.)

What Happened: Here it is! The List for 52Nudges 2.0.

  • Assemble a gift basket for myself
  • Bake cookies
  • Book 4 hikes/walks with 4 different friends
  • Browse a clothing consignment shop
  • Buy a nice new dishtowel
  • Buy two bunches of flowers – one for me, one for a friend
  • Claim my “Bread”
  • Clean out my makeup box
  • Compliment a stranger
  • Create a chalk message on the front sidewalk
  • Curate my own film series
  • Do a Fairy Deed
  • Do a favor for a friend
  • Do something backwards
  • Do something crafty
  • Do something I hate
  • Do something patriotic
  • Do something that scares me
  • Donate
  • Enjoy a fire in the fireplace
  • Exhale
  • Explore a used bookstore, spend just $10
  • Explore/read 3 new-to-me blogs + comment
  • Find my new signature scent
  • Get to know one great female artist
  • Give a book to a Free Library Box
  • Give in to an impulse that gives me joy
  • Go on a date night at new-to-us bar
  • Go through one bookshelf
  • Go to a park, do nothing for 30 minutes
  • Go to coffee house with an educational book and learn something new
  • Go to the beach
  • Have lunch outside
  • Ignore the laundry
  • Immerse myself in one big project
  • Investigate free programs and put one on the calendar
  • Invite someone “new” to coffee
  • Iron. Seriously, iron.
  • Jump rope
  • Keep a gratitude journal for 7 days x10
  • Learn how to sign a fun phrase in American Sign Language
  • Learn something about my city’s history
  • Learn something from a YouTube video
  • Let something go
  • Limit my mobile phone time
  • Make a list of cities I want to visit; pick one to explore
  • Make a pie or tart
  • Make a plan to visit Krista
  • Make and decorate a cake
  • Memorize a poem
  • No complaining, no whining x7
  • Notice something
  • Phone a friend
  • Pick something from Big To Do List, break it down
  • Plate our dinners
  • Play dress-up
  • Practice scientific prayer
  • Purge the underwear drawer
  • Re-memorize the 50 state capitols
  • Read through an old journal
  • Room by room, tidy the house
  • Say “yes” to something new
  • Schedule a game night
  • Schedule a long phone chat with a friend
  • Send a handwritten thank you note to a client, boss, or coworker
  • Set a small goal and blow it away
  • Sit (and sweat) in a sauna
  • Spiff up my nightstand
  • Splurge on something for me
  • Take 1 photo/day of something that makes me happy
  • Take a hard look at my calendar and carve out time for me
  • Take a weeklong break from Facebook or online news
  • Take journal to coffee house for 1 hour
  • Thank a writer, artist, or musician
  • Throw a spontaneous party
  • Treat my feet
  • Try a new cocktail recipe
  • Use the good body lotion every night
  • Use the good china
  • Use the good silver x2
  • Wander Joann’s fabric/craft store
  • Wear different shoes every day
  • Wipe down the kitchen cabinets
  • Work 2 hours in a remote space
  • Wrap gifts
  • Write “thinking of you” postcards to 5 old friends

I printed it out, cut it into strips, scrunched each strip into a little ball, and loaded them into my special bowl. Each Sunday, starting in three days, I’ll pick one nudge and tackle it during the week.

This list is yours to use, too, if you wish. Feel free to print it out and cut it into strips. Or create your own list, or create a mix of mine+yours. (For inspiration, check recent posts for exercises that will help you develop your own nudges.)

The other options are to simply follow along and do Nudges with me, or read along and take in inspiration whenever it hits. It’s never too late to join in and there’s no “right” way to do it.

Ah-Hahs: It was challenging at times to decide what stays and what goes. You’ll notice that there are more than 52 nudges on The List, and that’s intentional. I want to always have options, I want to always feel surprised.

As I went through this last step, my overall feeling was excitement. I’m looking forward to being delighted and challenged by each nudge. I’m ready to do this, and I hope you’ll join me.

52Nudges 2.0 starts Sunday, September 8!

See you back here Sunday morning!

 

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Nudged: Review the original List

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Backstory: For the past couple of weeks I’ve been journaling and brainstorming and exploring tasks that might make it on to The List for 52Nudges 2.0.

This week I’m going to review old posts, to see if there are any old Nudges I’d like to do again. Take a look, and let me know if there were any you thought were particularly effective–or worth revisiting.

Before I started the whole project, I reached out to a my sister and a couple of close friends to ask “What do you remember about me as a kid? What did I love to do? What was I passionate about? What have I let go that you think I should try again?” Their answers led to some of my original Nudges, so I’m not interviewing anyone this week. But you might. What have you forgotten about yourself? What have you let go of that you’d like to try again?

What Happened: I took a break after delivering a big job early Wednesday morning and spent an hour reviewing all the post topics (dating back to March 2018) from the first round of 52Nudges. Some seemed so small, but had big impacts (Wear red lipstick, Visit a new-to-me bookstore). Some didn’t work out so well (creating a vision board was a bust), but others were fun, challenging, motivating. I got to “Create a chalk message on the front sidewalk” and immediately got up from my desk, grabbed the basket of chalks, and headed outside to do this:

Have a FUN day!

It’s going back on The List because it scratches my creativity itch, it’s uncomfortable (I’m sure the neighbors think I’m nuts), and it feeds my soul (those uplifting messages are really directed at me, you know).

The point of this week’s Nudge was to see if there were any I wanted to do over, either because they were really fun or because I feel there might be more for me to learn from them. Some that may make it onto the final 2.0 List:

  • Compliment a stranger
  • Work offsite
  • Go through one bookshelf
  • Be early to everything
  • Use the good silver
  • Fix something

Ah-Hah: One is definitely not going the list: Listen to 2 old CDs. Why am I dropping this? Because that one tiny Nudge has been a huge success. I drew that Nudge in September 2018, and after I went through our personal collection, I branched out. Now, every couple of weeks or so, I go to my public library and request CDs of music I’ve never listened to before. I’ve heard opera, hip-hop, jazz, pop. I’ve sung and groaned aloud, depending on how much I liked/disliked what I’ve heard, whether it be country or classical or contemporary. I’ve developed new appreciation and respect for great artists of past and current generations, and I’ve let go of any need to like someone’s music because someone else said it’s “great”.

All because I nudged myself to try something different.

Cool. 🙂

 

 

 

Nudged: Explore things I’m curious about

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Backstory: Last week I worked with some prompts to come up with tasks that might become Nudges on The List for the re-launch (coming up in September). I was shocked when “3 Things I’m Curious About” yielded only two. What the heck?

So this week I’m going to dig a little deeper and try to find things I’m curious about. I might google random topics online. Maybe I’ll look at maps or pick up a book about reinventing myself. I’ll definitely review class offerings at City College.

What have you always wanted to learn? Was there an academic or career path you let go because it wasn’t “practical”? Is there a skill you’ve always wanted to acquire? Let’s explore those and figure out how to get some of those small steps on our lists for the next round of 52Nudges.

What Happened: I was really nervous about this. Do I feel too old to try new things? Have I given up? Has this whole 52Nudges business been a joke?

Yikes.

I don’t want to put things on The List just to have things on The List. I want each Nudge to be something I’m genuinely curious about, something that makes my heart flutter. But…what?

Time to do some research.

I pulled up the Fall 2019 course schedule for our nearby City College (where, by the way, I have yet to take a class–and it’s free!) and just browsed. Everything that even slightly caught my attention, I wrote it down:

  • American Sign Language (Huh. Maybe this year instead of learning to speak a useful or fun phrase, I’ll teach myself how to sign it.)
  • Art History (There’s a course titled “Women Through Art History”. Now, it could be a semester full of viewing artistic nudes, which, whatever, or it could be a survey that introduces me to the work of great women artists. Instead of signing up for the class, maybe I google “great women artists” and start borrowing illustrated books from the library to learn more about them and their work.)
  • Lost Wax Casting Family (I have absolutely no idea what this is. So I wrote it down to learn more.)
  • Films of Alfred Hitchcock (How cool is this? Of course, I would need to do this during daylight hours so as not to set myself up for waking up screaming in the middle of the night. But–fun! And I could simply decide to make a list of all Hitchcock films–or Scorsese, or great female directors, or Academy Award-winning actresses–and watch them on my own through Netflix or the library.)
  • History of San Francisco (This! This topic keeps coming up for me, so I am going to figure out some way to learn more about my home city. Walking tours, archives, historic sites, books.)
  • Intro to Museum Studies (Not sure if this is an intro course for people who want to become museum directors or–what’s the word?–curators! I had to look that up. But it inspires me to make a list of local museums and go visit them.)

Ah-Hahs: Okay. I feel better about all this. I’m starting to feel excited about what’s coming. There ARE things I want to learn and experience and explore and try and….

Nudged: Build “The List” with prompts

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Backstory: I’m gearing up for 52Nudges 2.0, which I plan to launch in September. To do this, I’m reviewing old to do lists and generating new ideas to update The List. When I’ve got a bunch, I’ll type it all up, cut it into strips, roll those strips into balls, and put them into a bowl. Then, each Sunday, I’ll pull one to tackle that week.

Last week I reviewed my Big To Do List and reviewed the musts, the shoulds, the need to dos. This week is all about what I want to do.

I might set a timer for 5 minutes and:

  • take look at course offerings at City College (What do I want to learn?)
  • go online and read up about faraway cities I want to visit some day (Can I get a book about its history? Is there a local cultural center that has programs? Can I get a CD of folk music or a cookbook of cuisine from the library to experience it without the big expense of travel?)
  • list small things I can do for myself (We’re talking self-care: take a hot bath, walk a labyrinth, warm my PJs in the dryer before bed)
  • remember specific activities I loved doing as a kid (Dancing? Reading? Playing games with my friends? What do I want to do again?)

The goal is to find some FUN things to add to the list. And for this week, it’s about brainstorming. I want to let my imagination run wild, then in a couple of weeks I can edit the list for things that really speak to me and for things that fit the 52Nudges parameters (must be able to be completed in a week, not expensive, nudge me out of my comfort zone).

Hope you’ll share some of the items that come up for you.

What Happened: I started by setting my timer for just 3 minutes and jotting down anything I could think of that I loved doing as a kid: baking, playing dress-up, reading Nancy Drew books (and imaging I was Nancy), blowing bubbles, going to the beach, learning new things to earn badges in Girl Scouts, riding horses, talking on the phone with friends and planning what we were going to wear to school the next day. Ha! That last one came out of nowhere and cracked me up. When was the last time I had a phone conversation like that? Shoot, when was the last time I simply enjoyed a looooong phone conversation about everything (or nothing) with a good friend? That’s so going on The List.

I reset the timer and thought about things I could do for myself that fall into the Self Care category: get some really nice body lotion and actually use it, get a real scrub-off-all-the-calluses pedicure, have one-on-one time with each of my siblings, wear the “nice” PJs, create a plan for spiffing up the living room, set aside a night to enjoy a fire in the fireplace. Lots of opportunity here.

Finally, without the timer, I opened a new page and titled it “3 Things I’m Curious About.” And I got only two. Two? Two! What the heck?! Other than San Francisco History and Cake/Cookie Decorating, I couldn’t think of a single class or book or podcast I want to watch. So that’s something I want to explore further.

Ah-Hahs: With all the responsibilities in life, I rarely take time to think about what gives me pleasure, feeds my soul, makes me feel most at peace with myself. And then I rarely take time to do any of these things. This is so much about what 52Nudges means for me. It’s figuring these things out and then doing them. So I’m going to continue brainstorming items for The List, and I’ll share them with you for inspiration. Hope you’ll do the same.

 

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