Backstory: I’m always looking to expand my horizons, learn something new, challenge myself. This nudge is designed to encourage me to set time aside to actually do it.
Will I discover a new hobby or a company I’d like to work for? Feed a curiosity? Be inspired by someone I admire? All possible.
The uncomfortable part is the commenting. But like with other activities, I’m sure I’ll get more out of the experience if I actually engage.
Backstory: “Hate”? Really? Such a strong term. I can think of things I dislike doing, but this seems a bit much.
I looked back at my notes from when I was putting together my list and confirmed this nudge was designed to push me way out of my comfort zone. In part, it’s designed to get me to do something that has been on my to do list forever, and for whatever reason has been put off. Like catching up on the mending (ugh) or weeding the backyard (which looks like a jungle after all the great rain we had earlier this month). Or–and this is a biggie–have new headshots taken. These days, I do not like having my photo taken. At all. Because I am pretty much not happy with how I look. At all.
Maybe there’s something in that last statement I can work with.
How will you nudge yourself this week?
What Happened: I couldn’t come up with anything at the beginning of the week, then was presented with an “opportunity”. Actually, that’s literal. I was offered a great work opportunity, one that checked so many boxes of things I can do well and things I want to do, and it was really really tempting to say “Yes!” But I held off. Something wasn’t…right. Something didn’t feel…authentic for me. I wrestled with my choices, knowing at a very deep level that accepting the offer would be the easy way through. After a few days of agonizing, I listened to my gut, swallowed my pride (because my ego had definitely been stroked), and said, “No. Thank you.”
Immediately I felt a weight lifted. I have a strong sense that I was being “tested”, and by making the right-for-me choice, something else–something better–will come in to fill the open space.
While the process was difficult, it wasn’t something I “hated”.
Okay, so what could I do to complete this nudge? What are things people typically hate doing? Taxes (already done). Deep cleaning the kitchen (ours is in pretty good shape). Ironing. Ironing…huh.
The Ah-Hahs: And that’s when it hit me: I would turn this nudge on its ear. I love ironing! Seriously! It’s a total zen thing for me, in which I work slowly and am rewarded with beautiful results. I love how my nice cotton PJs feel against my skin after they’ve been ironed, and I love how pretty my dish towels look with crisp folds.
So I pulled out the board, iron, and spray bottle, put a chick flick on the TV, and found my calm and happy place.
I loved every moment.
Backstory: “Hate”? Really? Such a strong term. I can think of things I dislike doing, but this seems a bit much.
I looked back at my notes from when I was putting together my list and confirmed this nudge was designed to push me way out of my comfort zone. In part, it’s designed to get me to do something that has been on my to do list forever, and for whatever reason has been put off. Like catching up on the mending (ugh) or weeding the backyard (which looks like a jungle after all the great rain we had earlier this month). Or–and this is a biggie–have new headshots taken. These days, I do not like having my photo taken. At all. Because I am pretty much not happy with how I look. At all.
Maybe there’s something in that last statement I can work with.
How will you nudge yourself this week?
Backstory: “Keep a gratitude journal” is on like every list of things to do when you’re feeling down. Most of the time I’ve seen instructions to note three things every day, so I decided to up the challenge to 10. I can find that many things to be grateful for, right?
Since this is for seven days I’m starting now:
What can you celebrate today?
What Happened: I tried this different ways, sometimes starting my day with my list, sometimes wrapping up the day in reflection. A couple of days I couldn’t come up with all 10 at once, so I added as things came to me. Did that yesterday, then realized this morning I had forgotten to finish, so I had to come up with a few extras. I’m pleased to report, it wasn’t hard.
Early in the week I noted things close to home (my favorite green pen, where I get to live). On Thursday I noted the blessings of having courage, humor, empathy, and creativity. Croissants, a sunny day, and just being able to get out of bed (not everyone is lucky) all made my lists.
The Ah-Hahs: As I reviewed my lists this morning, what struck me is the abundance of extraordinary relationships. Both individuals and groups of friends are included. These are the people who support, challenge, encourage, uplift, and pray with and for me. They share sorrows (theirs and mine) and make me laugh just when I need it most.
I suppose I take this for granted sometimes, and this nudge has me rethinking how I will spend my time and energy moving forward. Because upon taking this survey, I am reminded that I am a truly fortunate woman, a wealthy woman in terms of friends. And I am so grateful.
FIRST PASS: Back when I started this, I included a rule that allows me to “pass” four times during the 52-week session. This is the first time I’ve invoked it. The nudge I originally drew: Sit (and sweat) in a sauna. Yeah. So not going to happen. Even if the gym wasn’t closed till April 7, I can’t imagine wanting to sit in a warm damp room with a swirl of germs going around. So…moving on.
Meanwhile, I hope you and your loved ones are healthy and safe. Stay calm and wash your hands! xoxo
Backstory: “Keep a gratitude journal” is on like every list of things to do when you’re feeling down. Most of the time I’ve seen instructions to note three things every day, so I decided to up the challenge to 10. I can find that many things to be grateful for, right?
With the virus and the shelter-in-place order here, this seems like the perfect time to count my blessings. Since this is for seven days, I’m starting now:
What can you celebrate today?
As soon as I heard Chris’s story about how she stepped out of (or into?) her comfort zone, I asked if I could share it with the 52Nudges community. Read on for some “powerful” inspiration. — Kathleen
I am not a risk-taker. Nope nope nope. I stay in my lane, do what I’m told (well, mostly), and am definitely not breaking any laws. But when I was laid-off last fall from my job of 28 years, I decided it was time to light up my inner badass and try some new things. After all, if I was going to have to find a new job, I’d better get used to things that were new, different, and scary.
So I signed up for boxing lessons.
Now, I am not a particularly aggressive person. As the only girl in a family of four boys, I spent much of my childhood watching my brothers pile on each other (thank you, Three Stooges) while I just kept to the side, trying not to get hurt. But as I found through years of playing softball, I realized that I enjoyed the physical feeling of power – throwing the ball in from the outfield, crushing that ball for an extra-base hit. Seeing my body able to do what my personality didn’t always allow gave me a special kind of confidence that I have missed as an adult.
My gym is not a boxing-only gym, where Burgess Meredith would be simultaneously smoking and yelling at me from the corner. Instead it is cozy, well lit, and smells pretty good as far as gyms go. And the class is mostly women! This was a huge relief for me, as I am self-conscious trying new things. Most of the time women welcome and support each other and, sure enough, gym rat Julie welcomed me and helped me feel comfortable and ready to hit.
Photo by walking photographer
The actual boxing is fun! While I work on my technique and footwork, I hit the heavy bag and imagine my frustrations and anxieties crumbling under my gloves – my fear of finding the right job (or, honestly, any job), that annoying thing my husband or kids said the night before, my inability to keep to my diet and lose some of that weight. As Coach Vince gently corrects my feet or my weight distribution, I remind myself that since I can do this, I can tackle other hard things too, and deliver a solid combination that can knock out those things I’m scared of.
It is one helluva workout, and I emerge sweaty, invigorated, and ready to charge into whatever the day puts in front of me.
Turns out that the power doesn’t come from the gloves, it comes from what I put behind it. That knockout punch comes from ME.
Backstory: At my core, I am that woman who starts her day by making her bed. That one simple act clears space in my head and somehow helps me feel that I’ve accomplished at least one small thing.
Meanwhile, I am also that woman who still has Christmas decorations up in her house. In February. Not a lot, but they’re there, mocking me, nagging me to add de-decorating to my massive to do list and “Pull yourself together, woman!”
The idea for this nudge came from FlyLady, whom you’ve heard me talk about before. FLY stands for “Finally Loving Yourself”, and the message is about taking small steps to reclaim our lives, starting with tidying up our homes.
This isn’t crisis cleaning before guests come to stay. This isn’t deep spring cleaning, when you move the furniture and shake out all the rugs and dust and polish every corner and crevice. (I’ve never actually done that, btw. Does anyone?) The plan is to set a timer for a short period–maybe 10 to 20 minutes–and hustle at small tidying tasks. I might take out all the trash and put new bags in the cans. Or I might fold a basket of laundry, put everything away, and move the basket from the side of my bed to the laundry room. Or I might peel the paper snowflakes off the front windows, take down the Christmas wreath, take the Bing Crosby and Nancy Wilson holiday CDs out of the player in my car (for Pete’s sake!), and put everything back in storage.
For more info about how to do this, check out the “Getting Started Tips” at the FLYLady website. And if you’re inspired to do more decluttering in your life, pick up one of her books, Sink Reflections and The CHAOS Cure.
Got your timer? Ready…set…go!
Backstory: What a great way to kick off the new year! Exercise, catch up with friends, get outside.
Although as I type this, I imagine Nudgers in other parts of the world looking out their windows and thinking, “Oh, HELL no!” (Hello, Canadians!)
Maybe this isn’t the right season for you to be out walking, so, as always, figure out which part of this nudge speaks to you and go forth. Maybe this is the week you schedule that free session with the trainer at your gym. Maybe this is the week you schedule coffee and catch-up dates with four old friends. Maybe you commit to four “dates” over the next month with your treadmill or stationary bike. Make it your own.
What Happened: “Piece of cake,” I thought when I first pulled this nudge. “A few emails and text messages, and done!”
Then I read the fine print. This doesn’t ask me to “invite” four friends to go on walks with me, it asks me to “book” those outings.
It took a little more effort and time than anticipated, but I got one friend to join me for an early morning walk during the week, another is scheduled for tomorrow morning (weather permitting), and a third is scheduled for next week. One is penciled in for late in the month, and another has yet to respond to my email. I hope to issue more invitations–and book those dates–soon.
The walk that happened was lovely. Not too strenuous, which allowed for some good conversation. It also allowed us time to take in the scenery:
The deep blue sky. The green trees. Gorgeous!
As a bonus, I got “lost” on my way to our meeting point, which allowed me to marvel over the beauty of Golden Gate Park. Every time I go, it takes my breath away.
The Ah-Hahs: I feel calm this afternoon. Centered. Nothing else I did this week could contribute to that (rather, I should be feeling the opposite). I think it’s the combination of the three elements; not just exercising, not just meeting a friend, not just getting outside. All together.
We’re all so busy. And so, I find I must be intentional about making plans to make outings like this happen. It’s so worth the effort.
P.S. Looking for more inspiration and motivation? Check out Walking the World’s Most Exceptional Trails by Eloise Napier and Great Hiking Trails Around the World by Karen Berger.
Backstory: What a great way to kick off the new year! Exercise, catch up with friends, get outside.
Although as I type this, I imagine Nudgers in other parts of the world looking out their windows and thinking, “Oh, HELL no!” (Hello, Canadians!)
Maybe this isn’t the right season for you to be out walking, so, as always, figure out which part of this nudge speaks to you and go forth. Maybe this is the week you schedule that free session with the trainer at your gym. Maybe this is the week you schedule coffee and catch-up dates with four old friends. Maybe you commit to four “dates” over the next month with your treadmill or stationary bike. Make it your own.
Backstory: The full title of this Nudge is “Go to a coffeehouse with an educational book and learn something new.” I’m laughing as I type this. It made for a looong strip of paper for my Nudges jar. But I knew when I included it on The List, I wanted it to be more than simply “Learn something new.”
The inspiration for this Nudge came from a client project I worked on early in the year. It involved a topic–an industry, really–I knew nothing about. I requested a couple of suggestions for books from the client and immersed myself in study. For a couple of intense days, I read, took notes, thought deeply, and then applied what I’d learned to the work.
It was…fun.
I’m looking forward to challenging my brain this week. This is also an excuse to get out of my office, and away from the distractions, so that I can again practice focusing on just one topic at a time.